Saturday, August 6, 2011

Incompetent Dad Syndrome (IDS)

This is not a safe parenting method
As I make my foray in the world of parenting and blogging, I find myself struggling to fight a common myth of IDS.  Many people assume that as a father I know nothing about my child, that I would gladly throw him to the “wolves” disregarding all aspects of child safety, ignoring him as he metaphorically took a long walk off a short bridge.  As a child my father subscribed to the parenting philosophy of “benign neglect” (his term not mine), letting me explore my surroundings and providing “just enough” supervision to prevent permanent physical deformation or intense psychological trauma (Chelsea would argue that he was not successful).   Many people of our parents’ generation were subject to the what I would coin the “leave it to Beaver” method of fathering where dads would come home from work expecting dinner on the table, have the occasional pitch and catch session in the yard, and be the disciplinarian when your child would get into the inevitable trouble.
My experience with today’s fathers is more nebulous, some Dads attempt to be Mom 2.0, some subscribe to the “begin neglect” method, and still some are the stereotypical 1950’s father figure. If you have seen me with my child, I am not a helicopter parent, however I am not afraid to get wrist deep in a poopy diaper, snuggle my child when he is tired, or “guide” him away from what seems to be all children’s proclivities to finding situations which can lead to instant death or disfigurement.  I hope that by blogging I will be able to provide a fathers’ prospective on raising James and show my attempts to find a middle ground between Mom 2.0 and “1950’s dad”.

The names I go by are Dad and Adam and I do not have IDS.


Post a Comment