James had another rough night last night. He woke up around 3 AM with a wet, almost leaking diaper. I changed him, but he continued to cry. We realized he was cold, so I put a long sleeve shirt over his pajamas and he finally went back to sleep about 4:30 AM. I feel so bad for him when he can't sleep, because I know that he wants to. He very rarely wakes up because he's not tired and wants to hang out. Sometimes, we have a little trouble getting him in bed because he wants to play still. I just chalk that up to Adam and I being awesome parents, but you can call it what you will. I suppose I should also feel bad for Rhonda when James doesn't sleep, because it usually means he's a little grumpy before lunch and nap time. But even James grumpy isn't that bad, he's just a chipper little guy in general.
There is one upside when he can't sleep. And it might make me seem a little crazy (like you hadn't already figured that out, my loyal 8 blog readers...).
When he's sleepy and wants me to cuddle him at night, I try to breath in every ounce of baby that is left in him. I imagine the days when his tiny legs, bent up like a frog still fit right on my stomach. I think about how magical he was as an infant, my little boy, so sweet smelling and adorable, all mine, balled up on his mom's lap. I wish I could recapture just one minute of his babyhood, even though I know all babies grow up. Now, as his long toddler legs grow closer and closer to the floor, I try to remember that one day he won't even be this little and I'll long for my toddler. And I try to remember that even though dad is the most fun to play with, mom is the one who comforts him.
When I'm tired and grumpy, when I've just been cross with my husband in the middle of the night for no reason other than I would rather be sleeping, and when there is nothing left to do but sit in the dark and sway with a growing little boy, I try to take it all in, while I still can.