With James' second birthday right around the corner, its really hard not to think "2 years ago..." all the time. But that's really all I've been doing lately, reminiscing on two years ago and how much life has changed and how lucky I am to have a brilliant, funny, adorable little boy. A brilliant, funny, adorable, and often TAXING almost two year old... This age is hilarious and exhausting simultaneously.
Over the weekend it was two years from the time time that I was put on bedrest for the 6 week duration of my pregnancy. I felt so scared and worried and stressed at the time. My doctor told me that I only really needed partial bedrest, but that she would put in the paperwork so I could stay home from work. I remember leaving the appointment, getting in the car, and calling my mom in an absolute fit of tears. I'm sure she loved that one, but you know, what are mom's for, even when you're 27 and hugely pregnant. Funny enough, she also had an appointment with our doctor that day (yea, we share a GYN, for the added bonding experience! ha!) so she came to the hospital early and listened to me blubber. Funny enough, almost all my stress was about work, I wasn't really worried about James at that point. He never moved during non-stress testing (as he should have...) so they did an ultrasound twice a week and saw the little guy moving around in there. I like to think that he knew his momma would rather see him than feel him kicking for those 30 minutes. Once he even waved at us on the screen, sort of like "ha ha, I'm in here and I won't move just because you want me to!" James was always active at night, which accounted for his napping during testing.
I wish I could sum up the stress I was feeling in that very moment, most was very irrational, but I was so upset and scared. I knew that I would be leaving my job for a new position shortly after my maternity leave ended and that I wasn't as caught up at work as I wanted to be and I really just didn't know what to do with myself. But I pulled it together and listened to my mom's advice. The next day I went to work, packed up my desk as though I was not coming back at all, told them I was going on bedrest, and went home. Actually, I think I stopped by Wendy's for a Frostie on the way home, but that was that.
Flash forward two years, if someone told me I got to stay home from work and rest, I think I would hug them and do a happy dance, but oh how two years can change a person. The rest of my last week without a child was pretty uneventful. I went to both doctor's 2 or 3 times and I went to see a movie with Adam and my girlfriends Jackie and Sarah.
All of it seems like a long time ago, but also like it was yesterday.
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