Saturday, November 10, 2012

Living with the fear

With all of the craziness and uncertainty of the last week, I have been doing a lot of thinking.  I am in my own head a lot, which I think has always been one of my strengths and weaknesses.  Sometimes, I should really get out of my own head, stop over thinking and start doing.  Sometimes, being able to reflect on recent events and happenings is a good thing.  Self reflection, especially as a parent, should lead us to the best possible decisions for our children.
I was figuratively smacked in the face this week with the reality that our lives are short.  Time is fleeting and we have no control over the world most of the time.  Rhonda had a seizure Saturday morning due to her brain aneurysm   Only hours prior, she would have been home, with 5 small children.  While I know that anything can happen at any time, I was so scared by this.  Most of the time, I can live with the facts and I can manage my fears.  I can deal with the unknowns in life for myself and my family.  But when hit with something like this, so square in the face, managing the unknown becomes more difficult.  What ifs come creeping in and its hard to get them out of your head.
But what can I do?  Life is what it is and we can only do so much.  We truly have to enjoy the little moments, hug our kids more, and be present in the second to second, daily things that make our lives special.  Its sounds corny and maybe a bit over simplified, but all I can do as a mom is love James and the baby and try to embrace every second I have with them.
This hectic week will pass and one of these days, we'll have some normalcy back.  And while that is a good, good thing, its important to not forget the lessons we pick up during the trying times.


Post a Comment