This week I have managed to stay positive and busy. Not that its hard to stay busy with James, work, the pets, and home to keep me on my toes. But I have been able to avoid all the upsetting things I have been feeling, at least to a certain extent. I've managed (for the most part) to keep my crying in bed at home and not let it steep into the work place. Adam has been there to comfort me when I'm upset and to offer his words of encouragement and humor. I am so lucky that I have someone in my life who understands me and what I need in times like these.
But now, I have to go face all of it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing to do. It is certainly a hard thing to do, to try to make peace with all that is going on in my family. Our matriarch is gone and now we have to pick up the pieces and figure out how we as a family move on after this loss. I know that we can move on with our memories in hand, but I also know that even in the most trying time, my Grandma was the voice of reason and the rock for my mom and aunt.
All of the grandkids (me, my brother, and our 3 cousins) have been asked to share a favorite memory of our grandma at the memorial service. I am not sure what I am going to share yet, because its hard to pin point one particular memory, when I love all of them. But something will come to me, hopefully before the service on Monday.
My plane leaves tomorrow morning at 8:30 and nearly 13 hours later I will be in lovely Medford, Oregon. Hopefully the plane ride is a smooth one.