Potty Training

Our home has become the Land of Epic Failures.  Yes, we must be potty training.  Actually, by saying we're potty training, one might think something is actually happening that resembled James using the potty.  That is just not the case.
Let me back up a little bit.  We've been potty training James for some time now, but not pushing the issue.  Almost a year ago we got a potty, James picked it out and for the summer months, he used it regularly.  He never got to the point of telling us that he had to go or asking to sit on the potty.  But he would stay dry overnight, pee on the potty in the morning, maybe pee on the potty in the evening.  He was "helping" other big kids potty at daycare and Rhonda and I thought it was going to happen soon.  James even picked out a new potty seat to use on our regular toilet.  All was moving along swimmingly.
Or so we thought.  Sometime in the fall, James decided that he no longer liked the potty.  I can't think of something specifically that happened to make this decision, but he did.  Then we had the trauma of switching daycares for a few weeks while Rhonda was recovering and there was no way James was letting a new daycare provider help him potty.
Coincidentally enough, the morning I ended up having Logan, James sat on the potty in the morning at his own suggestion and was happy to do it.  Of course, he probably knew I was running late, but I couldn't tell him no I don't have time for you to potty.  Other than a few other instances, he will not even consider using the potty.

He doesn't know a baby is coming in 12 hours

We are now 4 months shy of James' 3rd birthday, which was the "be potty trained by" goal we set out when he turned 2.  HA!  That is so not happening.  Everyone keeps telling me that "he'll do it when he's ready" but at this point, I don't even know what that means.  This morning, I put James on the potty, with a book, completely cheerfully, and he erupted into screams of agony.  You'd think I was water boarding him.  Adam rescued him from the potty and James spent the rest of the morning rather grumpy with me.
I am now at a total loss.  I think I should keep asking him if he'd like to use the potty, keep offering incentives (candy, iPad time, toys, small box of $50 bills?), keep pushing the issue?  I read a great article yesterday that told me I might psychologically damage him if I am too pushy.  Awesome news there!  All I know is that changing his diapers is getting gross.  He eats more than I do some days, so you can imagine the output!  And the boy that once would wake up dry every morning, now regularly wets through diapers overnight.
We still have a long road ahead of us.

Here we go again

So here I am - 30 years old, a mother of 2, and committed to being done with having kids.
To be honest, I'm a little sad about not having more kids.  I would love to have a little girl to buy lots of pink crap for.  But three kids is more than my body and our family budget can handle (not to mention more than my sanity can handle!).  Even before my blood pressure spiked and lead to a Pregnancy Induced Hypertension diagnosis, my team of doctors let it be known that I should probably be done with two.  And I agree.  But I digress.
For the last three and a half years I've been trying to conceive, pregnant, a new mom, a working mom, trying to conceive again, and pregnant (again).  I've let that be an excuse to not diet, with some exception when I lost around 10 - 15 ish pounds in the fall of 2011.  Losing that weight was kind of silly really, I gained back 12 pounds during the 4 months we were trying to conceive Logan (oops).
But I have no more excuses at this point.  Its time to lose the weight once and for all.  Beyond weight, its time to be healthier and take care of myself.  So really its more than weight loss, its trying to live a better, healthier lifestyle.
Does it feel like I've written this entry before?  I sound like a broken record, like an addict that wants another drink, but in some ways, food is my addiction.  That might be over stating it some, but I clearly have some food issues.  I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored.  I eat to reward myself.  For example:  There's a Chic-Fil-A next to the Sam's Club that we frequent.  On several occasions, I have gotten breakfast after an early morning diaper run and thought to myself "You deserve a treat".  Really, Chelsea?  You get to eat a thousand calorie breakfast because you popped in Sam's for 20 minutes?
I might be digressing again.
So I've joined a gym, am tracking my calories and weight on My Fitness Pal, and have committed to not eating fast food.  I'm not going to berate myself if I go over my calories and I'm not going to expect some huge, immediate weight loss.  I have 65 pounds to go until I hit my goal, which could take the better part of this year.
Rather than blog about it weekly and post my weigh ins, I'm just going to live my life.  But if you're interested in the specifics, I have posted a weight loss tracker that is linked to my My Fitness Pal account.  I'm using 252 pounds as my starting weight, that's how much I was in the doctor's office at my 6 week post partum/post op appointment and in the last two weeks I've lost 7 pounds.
Here we go again!

Haircuts

Adam has gone to the same barber, Miss Chau (pronounced Chow, she and her husband Kevin are Vietnamese)  since we've lived in this house.  James started to see her when he was 11 months old and got his first haircut.  Adam gets his hair cut faithfully every 3 weeks and James does every 6.  Its about the only consistent thing in our lives, it seems sometimes!

Today, I reached either a new level of efficiency or a new low in my adult life...  I let Chau cut my hair.  She does cut woman's hair on occasion, but usually its guys.  

She actually did a great job and I'm glad to have checked something off my to do list! We took more than six inches off and my head feels much lighter. And at only $15 I may continue to let Chau do my yearly haircut!

I look tired.  Oh wait, I am tired!

The Aquarium

This past Monday, Adam and I took advantage of our day off of work for President's Day and took James to the National Aquarium in Baltimore.  We have been wanting to take him for some time, but the aquarium doesn't allow strollers and we wanted to make sure that he could handle the walking.  Well, he COULD have handled the walking, but was a bit shy with such a crowd.  He walked a good bit, but also asked Adam to carry him a good bit too.  I had Logan in our Ergo baby carrier, so I got out of carrying the big boy!
We had a great time, but also learned a few things to keep in mind for our next trip.  One of those was not to take the Light Rail into the city, as it broke down for 45 minutes.  We also forgot to buy tickets online before we left the house, so we had to wait for our entry time.  Luckily, the ticket guy saw us waiting and let us in early.
The exhibits at the aquarium are great, we saw the Atlantic Coast, Rain Forest, and Jelly Fish, as well as the dolphins.  There is a 4D film that is also being shown right now, but we decided that James probably wouldn't sit through the whole thing.  I was a little disappointed that there is no longer a set time for the dolphin show, just times to watch their training and enrichment.  The dolphins were always my favorite as a kid, but at least we got to see them for a little while.
I was kind of amazed at the people at the aquarium though.  There were more people than I expected (which was silly, we thought going on a holiday would mean less people, but everyone thought that) and I was surprised at how pushy they got.  I suppose I should have expected that, but I always make such an effort to teach James to be polite and not run into people that I thought maybe others did as well? Silly me, having so much faith in the general public!  Another little pet peeve I had was everyone with their cameras/cell phones. There is no flash photography allowed, but everyone was snapping away on their phones with their flashes going off left and right.  Do you really need to facebook a blurry picture of a puffin?  Does Great Aunt Susie care about the tree frogs you saw?  Really?  I love to document things too, but in the end I was glad that I decided not to bring the camera and just enjoy the memories we were making.
Overall, it was a wonderful day and I'm glad we kept James home from daycare to go.  He has adjusted so well to being a big brother and he definitely deserved a fun day.  I can't wait until the weather gets warmer and we can go to the zoo.

2 month milestones

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

Vocalizes: gurgles and coos
Logan has started to make the cutest noises, I think he startles himself when something comes out of his mouth that isn't a scream, because he looks so surprised.
Follows objects across field of vision
Yes, we are following all kinds of objects.
Notices his hands
They're in his mouth some of the time, so I suppose that counts as noticing them.
Holds head up for short periods
Yes, his head control gets better and better everyday

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

Smiles, laughs
In the last 2 weeks or so Logan has been smiling up a storm, he also kind of laughs, but its more of a coo at this point.
Holds head at 45-degree angle
If he's on his tummy, he can hold is head up at a 45-degree angle.
Makes smoother movements
He's getting there, his movements are definitely less jumpy than they used to be.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

Holds head steady
For short periods of time, yes.
Can bear weight on legs
Yes, if you hold him up, he will stand on his legs for a minute or so.
Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup)
Yes, he still isn't a huge fan of tummy time.  He does like it if he's laying with one of us tummy to tummy and will hold himself up.

Logan also had his 2 month check up today.  He is doing well and the doctor was impressed with all the milestones he's meeting.  His head circumference was 15.5 inches, he weights 13 pounds, 1 ounce, and was 22 3/4 inches long.  He's off the growth chart and the doctor thinks he'll be between 6' 2" and 6' 6" tall when he's all grown, so we'll see if that is true or not.  He thinks that James could end up even taller!  
Logan also got 3 shots and the Rotovirus liquid vaccine.  He was not happy about the shots and had a pretty fussy afternoon and evening.  We gave him some Tylenol to help with the pain, but who really knows how much that helps.  I am just thankful he didn't run a fever or have any other bad reactions.  This morning he seemed back to his usual self, so I hope he and Adam make it through the day without incident.

What is love?

I tell James that I love him everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.  He either ignores me because he is doing something very important (like shooting pretend Spiderman webs or trying to break his leg jumping down our stairs) or he responds "Lub you too, Mom".  You can guess which one I prefer.  Sometimes he says I love you first, but its a pretty rare occasion.

A few days ago, I asked James what I love you means.  He responded "Means I not scared, Mom."

Be still my Momma heart.

Back to work

I started back to work today.  Hopefully, that will mean more time to blog since I will actually get a lunch break.  Logan's not too keen on those lunch breaks, the second he smells someone's food, he's wide awake.  James is at daycare and Adam is taking his 4 weeks of paternity leave, so I have a little while before I have to get myself and the boys out the door by 7 AM.  I am going to enjoy these last 4 relaxing weeks and then life will really be back in motion.

Fussy boy

The last few weeks have been going pretty well at our house.  We're settling into having a baby and getting used to new routines.  Although, I go back to work next week which will change things again.  Adam is taking 4 weeks of paternity leave and will go back on March 18th, once again changing things up, but I'm glad he'll have time to bond with Logan.
Mr. Baby (we are fond of calling him this, as he is a one serious baby) is doing well.  He eats like crazy and is finally figuring out that he should sleep at night.  He sleeps from about 8 PM to 2 AM and then again from 4 AM til 7 AM.  He usually takes his first morning nap after we return from dropping James off at daycare.  So we're all sleeping a bit better.  He is slowly awake less and less during his wake up at 2 AM.  Logan is a good amount fussier than James ever was.  He likes things just so and will let you know if you aren't meeting his standard.  Sometimes he cries to be fed, even when he's not hungry.  He screams if he wants to be entertained, cuddled, or laid on his tummy.  James screamed a good deal during his first three months due to gas issues.  Then, almost the very day he turned 3 months old, it ended.  They call the first 3 months of life the "fourth trimester" because in a perfect world, where humans are mammoths, babies would gestate for a full year.  But due to reasons, mainly size related, we give birth after 9 months.  Anyway, I am hoping that in the next few weeks, Logan's screaming will die down a good bit.
Other than that, his personality is very serious.  He smiles in his sleep, but usually has a silly little smirk on his face.  He still looks almost identical to his older brother as a baby, but appears to have darker hair.  His eyes are still blue, but look like they are changing to brown everyday.
Fussy babies are hard.  When you're home everyday with an angry baby, you really start to feel like you're doing a crap job of being a mother.  Or at least I do.  With toddlers, even when they're mad or grumpy, they still will show affection.  A hug or kiss can go a long way when you're feeling like the worst mom ever, but infants can't give that kind of response.  That's been a hard thing for me to remember, when I feel like my baby must hate me because he's been fussy all day.  But I know all too soon, he won't be a tiny (well, not so tiny, since he's gaining weight like crazy!) baby and I'll want these sleepless nights back.
Overall, we're doing well.  To our credit and experience with James, Adam and I have not had a middle of the night, overly tired screaming match.  We had them almost nightly for awhile with James, for no other reason than tiredness and unclear expectations.  We've had a better plan for how to handle overnight feedings this time and I think the clearer communication has helped us both.  Not that we ever held grudges about these middle of the night squabbles, but its better not to call your spouse horrible names at 3 AM.  Okay, I might have been the main name caller, but we will look the other way.