To VBAC or not to VBAC

When I had James, there was no doubt in my mind to have a C-Section.  I wasn't dilated or effaced and I was facing crazy high blood pressure.  Pre-eclampsia had set in and I knew that I wanted him out of me as quickly as possible, for both of our safety.  My doctor asked if I want to induce and in the blink of an eye, I said no.  I knew that James was already a bigger baby, even at 5 weeks early and I knew that inducing without my body being ready for labor at all was just asking for an emergency C-Section later.  I knew that I'd rather wait for Adam to arrive, have the surgery, and get James out safely.  And honestly, I have never once doubted that decision.  I know a lot of moms feel like they have failed in some way when they end up with a C-Section.  But I never felt that and I never felt for a moment that I didn't have a chance to connect with James.  I didn't see him for more than a second for the first 2 days, but without a doubt, he's always been my little boy.  Adam swears he kept a close eye on him, so you know, hopefully he is my little boy.

Having had one C-Section, I have been left with what is actually a pretty tough decision for baby number two.  I have all the same health concerns going into this birth, but now I have a surgical history.  If you look at statistics for births in the US, C-Sections are on the rise.  There is a lot of talk about VBACs (vaginal birth after caesaran) and how doctors aren't supporting them.  While I agree, there are far too many C-Sections performed, I have to say that my experience has been quite the opposite of all the hub bub made on the internet about doctors being unwilling to perform or try to perform VBACs.

For the record, the Perinatal Center at St. Joe's in Towson, MD is all about the VBAC.  They support them, want them, encourage them and from day one of this pregnancy have made it clear that if I want to try, I should try for a vaginal birth.  Now I figured that I wouldn't have one of these crazy stories where some surgery happy doctor demands that they slice my baby out, but I am really amazed at the support my three high risk OBs have offered.  The director, Dr. Rossiter, is on the Baltimore's Best list and is known nationally, and I can see why.  If every woman felt as supported in a VBAC as I do, then certainly there would have to be more of them.  

So what am I to do?  Well, I am not trying for a VBAC.  That has been my decision from day one and while I'm sure I will always have questions about it in my mind, I know that a repeat C-Section is the right decision for me.  For one, baby number two is already huge.  For two, diabetic labor can be long and complicated and would mostly likely be induced, and honestly, I'd like to avoid all that blood sugar craziness.  Finally, I just don't want to do it.  I know that if I'm not 100% committed to a natural birth, that its just not going to happen and I'd rather be upfront about that.
Update:  I wrote this some time ago and forgot to publish it....  Oops.