35 weeks

Here we are at week 35!  The baby is the size of a coconut.  Well, an averaged sized baby is the size of a coconut, but since we're measuring almost 3 weeks ahead, who knows what kind of fruit my kiddo is shaping up be!  Some sort of melon, if I recall correctly.  35 weeks is especially meaningful (and scary) for me because James was born at 35 weeks and 4 days.  That's next Tuesday, for anyone keeping track, so we'll see what happens!
I have started my biweekly biophysical profiles and non stress tests.  Both have been fine, with a healthy, large and responsive baby!  Yesterday I also had a routine OB check up after my NTS.  The routine checks are the ones that worry me the most, I must say, because those are the appointments where I'm weighed.  At this point I'm not worried about gaining weight, but I am worried about water weight.  Yesterday was no exception as I seem to have gained nearly 11 pounds in the last 3 weeks.  Weight gain of this type seems to point to my having this baby sooner rather than later for a number of reasons.  Based on what we saw with James I had a gradual rise in my blood pressure from appointment to appointment, a rather sudden water weight gain, and then wham - protein in my urine/the onset of pre-eclampsia.  We've also seen a slight drop in my insulin need, which is good in one way, but also is a sign that my placenta is "aging" and may not be in use much longer (a "thriving" diabetic placenta demands lots of insulin).
So that's where we are.  We've seen my blood pressure going up ever so slightly, now the weight gain, and all of a sudden I'm on the look out for a baby.  Yesterday the doctor estimated that within the next 2 weeks the little guy will be here.  That, of course, is no guarantee, just her estimate.  If I can prolong this pregnancy, I will do so by any means, but at this point, if I have pre-eclampsia, he's coming out.  I hope that we can make it one more week.  This is a random time frame, but James was on the border line for needing oxygen during his NICU stay.  A few extra days might just help develop the baby's lungs a little better.  Then again, some babies, particularly boys, are born at 37 or 38 weeks and have breathing problems, so again, the longer we can prolong my pregnancy the better.
Last night, after all this information had set in, I was pretty upset.  I was worried and the thought of having the baby so early really scared me.  Also, news flash - we're having a SECOND baby.  TWO little lives to manage and take care of.  I know, for the person who's been tracking every week of this pregnancy, you'd think the information would have set in.  But all of a sudden everything was very real last night.  More than anything, I want to do a good job.  I care so much about James and the new guy already, that the thought of messing anything up or not doing the best for them really upsets me.  Adam has told me repeatedly, even before James, that the very fact that I care so much is more than enough for any child.  But what can I say - I'm a bit of a spaz!  And so ended the freak out.  I've processed everything and have my game face back on.
We are very prepared for the little guy to come, in all the ways that we weren't for James.  His clothes are washed and in drawers, we have diapers, wipes, bottles, and formula.  With James the day after I was released from the hospital/the day before James came home, Adam and I went to Target to pick up all those things!  So we are at least better off than we were 2 and a half years ago.  I have to keep reminding myself that even though you're exhausted, taking care of little babies is pretty easy - diaper, feed, burp, repeat in 2 to 3 hours.