It's almost time

"Adam....  Adam, I just realized I haven't written a single thing about being pregnant this time..."
"Well, I guess you better get on that."
"I took way more pictures."
Close enough, right?
I didn't set out to write about being pregnant for the third time.  I'd say that's a good thing, because I definitely accomplished that goal.  Until now.
2015 came and went.  James turned 5, started school, played soccer, drove his parents a little batty, but mostly was a good kid.  Logan was Logan.  A little loud and a little demanding.  Life with Logan seems to be a stream of antibiotics and trips to the ENT.  He got glasses, turned 3 and had revision tubes placed in his ears and his adenoids removed.  He was also mostly a good kid.
James is so ready to be a big brother again.  He loves his "job" even though most of the time Logan is really running the show.  Logan is so not ready to be a big brother.  He tells me nearly daily now that he doesn't want a baby and that he, in fact, is the baby.  Oddly enough, he loves babies, so maybe his tune will change.
Being on my third high risk pregnancy is a bit stressful.  Things seem more "normal" this time and I am very used to checking my blood sugar and blood pressure.  But its stressful in other ways.  When I told James I had a doctor's appointment this morning, he asked if I'd be gone for 5 days.  I told him that its just a check up and that the doctor would just measure my belly and listen to the baby's heartbeat.  In the back of my mind, I was thinking "I hope..." I promised to try to give him as much notice as I possible could before I had to be in the hospital.  He was unhappy when mom was in the hospital with Logan, this time I know it will be worse.
Preparing for a third baby is pretty hilarious, I'm almost 31 weeks and we finally broke down and bought some baby things.  We still have no baby clothes, as we're waiting for a hand-me-down delivery.  We still don't have a solid feeding plan, we're playing it by ear to see if the little guy wants to nurse.  I have no meals prepped (okay, I never prepped meals before the other two either...) and no real plans for who is watching the kids while I'm in the hospital.  We'll figure it out eventually, there's probably only 6 more weeks of this madness.
Good things about pregnancy this time around:
1.  Adam and I understand that I'm crazy, hungry, hormonal and angry.  Not sure who I'm angry at, but most of the time, someone.
2.  I know that the time period of being exhausted is quite short.  Caring for an infant is actually super easy when compared to parenting a child, even if they scream a lot and you don't sleep for a year.
3.  Its almost over.  That's the best part.  I fooled myself into thinking doing this again would be easy.  Its not.  I will not have these foolish notions again.  I will tie my tubes and never again think of having babies.  Because four?  Well that is just nuts, right?  Right.

Night time cuddles

Logan is at a turning point in his young life, he's not quite a baby and not quite a big kid yet. The toddler years are fun for lots of reasons, the new words and blossoming personality make everyday interesting. And challenging. With Logan, more challenging than interesting it seems. But lately his communication has been amazing and it's easy to see how he's been less and less frustrated. Not that he doesn't still have tantrums, but much less hitting and biting.

And in many ways, he's still my baby. Last week, Logan woke up in the middle of the night. When I entered his room, I didn't close the door, just got to him and picked him up from his crib. He stood and reached for me. When I patted his bottom, I realized he was very soggy and needed a fresh diaper. So I told him he needed a change and he laid down quietly as soon as I set him on the floor (he outgrew the changing table ages ago). Then I changed him and before I could pick him back up, he'd stood up and was hugging me. I was just about to stand up so we could sit in his chair and cuddle some when he realized something was wrong. He ran over, closed his room door and then came back, now ready for his cuddle. I only held him for a few minutes then he went back to sleep and I slowly slipped back to my own bed. 

As I tried to fall back to sleep, I laughed to myself. He's old enough to know he wants his door closed, but young enough to still need a cuddle to fall back to sleep. 

The first week

The first few full days of school have come and gone and James has been adjusting pretty well. He did have an accident on the way to school on his first day, but other than that, things have been relatively uneventful. He loves his teacher and has been enjoying playing new games and meeting new people.

We had Back to School night on Tuesday, where we learned more about the curriculum for the year and on Wednesday we learned first hand about the behavioral chart. 

The behavioral chart is a tool for discipline where the kids each have a clothes pin clipped to the chart. If you're good, you stay on blue. You can go down to green or yellow (yellow usually results in a consequence) or you can be super exceptional and move up to orange which results in a sticker and small prize. The colors make no sense to me, because they aren't in rainbow ROY G BIV order, but I'm going to get over it. Adam asked James how he did on the chart on Wednesday, who told us he was on yellow. He was warned twice for not calming down after recess. This makes total sense to me, since calming down has never been James' strong suit.  We didn't get too upset with James, mainly tried to listen as he explained himself. I suppose the funniest part of all of this was that James made sure he told us that the other kid "taught him how to be bad". I'm pretty sure he needed no help, but we talked about our expectation for his behavior and today he had no problems. 

We are slowly getting into the routine, James gets lunch and a snack, which eases a lot of my worry about him being hungry. Our daycare provider's daughter has been walking him across the street to the bus on days when the older kids aren't there in the morning. Logan seems to be thoroughly enjoying being a "big kid" at daycare without his brother, but they have been much more affectionate with each other when they are together. 

Overall, it's been exhausting, especially with soccer practice mixed in, but this is an exciting time for all of us. Even if I still can't believe I have a 5 year old!

First Day Jitters

Tomorrow is the big day: James' first full day of kindergarten! His first day on the bus and the first day of the next 13 years. We went for a few hours on Friday and the parents heard from the guidance counselor and administration. James was with his class and I think he's fallen hard for his teacher. She a little and perky, but firm from what we saw and I know that my little people pleaser will do well. 

Before we left in Friday, his teacher read a cute story, First Day Jitters about being nervous for school. The funny part is that the teacher is the one with the jitters! The kids had a good laugh and then received a Baggie full of "jitter glitter".

Overall, James seemed excited and not at all nervous. He's loved preschool time with Rhonda and I think he's well prepared. As parents, we're working through all kinds of things. Some of them are pretty easy, just the logistics of it all. We need to pack lunch and a snack. Sneakers on Tuesday and library books in Friday. I've been working through the idea that more and more we are giving up control of our child. This is the way of life, we know that eventually we are raising our children to be independent and strong, but I think my growing pains have been worse then theirs! Again, it's a bittersweet feeling and I'm sure I will be crying after I put my big boy on the bus!

There is a poem in with James' bag of jitter glitter, you're supposed to sprinkle it under your pillow the night before school. Maybe I need to borrow some!

Remember when?

Remember when it was easy to find time to write this blog?

I'm not actually sure that I do remember such a thing.  It seems I'm having trouble remembering so many things lately.

For instance, James starts kindergarten next week and I can hardly remember what it was like for him to be a baby.  He seems so big and independent these days and now he's leaving daycare and going to a new school for long school days where I will have even less control than I do now...  Is that a run on sentence?  I see his baby pictures and I can remember for a minute snuggling his little tiny self, but now I give a hug to a big, heavy boy.  A big boy to tells me his thoughts and about his dreams (always about purple monsters...)  A big boy who plays games with other big boys and leaves his mother totally confused about what is happening.  A big boy who loves his brother and wants nothing more than Logan to follow his beck and call.  Logan, on the other hand, has no time for brother's instructions.

Remember when I thought we'd have two kids and I'd get this feeling of being "done" and then we'd be done?  Ha!  That thought was fleeting and I never had a feeling of done.  So here I am, almost 12 weeks pregnant with number 3.  Even more hilarious, remember when I thought I'd never even have kids? Time has made me a liar.

Kindergarten Registration

Yesterday, we took James to his new school to get registered for kindergarten. We took his list of needed items (birth certificate, deed, shot record) and were in and out in less than 15 minutes. 

James' main concern was wanting to go play with other kids at school. When he found out that we were confined to the front lobby of the school, he was upset.  But after we got some celebratory ice cream, he felt much better. 

At James' request, we went back to daycare and picked his baby brother up early. Then we came home and had a Cinco de Mayo pool party. Overall, a sucessful day. 

On natural childbirth

Having had two c-sections with my boys and never having even approached going into labor, I was unsure what to expect when a good friend of mine opted for a 100% unmedicated birth. During the months leading up to her having the baby, we talked a lot about whether she would actually be able to not take anything. After lots of waiting and a baby that arrived almost a week late, I got the phone call. She was in labor and going to the hospital. Well, going to the hospital after going home for a few hours and a snack. Food is always a priority for pregnant women, right?

By the time I got to the hospital, labor was in full swing. There was bouncing on a yoga ball, a birthing tub and lots of painful moaning. 

For lack of a better way to put it, that shit was crazy. 

I had no idea someone could make the noises that I was hearing. Once, while my friend's husband was getting something out of the car, I got to be her fill in hand holder. She wanted a specific grip and she squeezed like hell. I happily handed her back over to her husband. 

A few hours later, there were cries and screams. She was screaming for drugs and over and over again we'd remind her that she could do it. Breath through the pain and you'll be fine, we'd say. She would talk herself through the pain and occasionally curse us. At one such moment I asked her "So I shouldn't take a mid-labor selfie with you?" She flipped me the bird. 

But we knew she didn't really want the meds.  At one point my self appointed job was to put my hand over the toilet fixtures. Yep, you haven't lived until you've helped your friend labor on a hospital toilet. She kept flinging her head back and I figured the last thing she really needed was a concussion, so I guarded the pipes for almost an hour. 

After 8 hours in the hospital, I made my way home. I had to stay home with Logan that morning and while I was upset at missing the baby's birth, I also wanted to let my friend and her husband have their moment alone. Especially since she stuck to her guns and took no medication. Baby arrived after 24 hours in labor and for every one of them I was thankful for c-sections.

Now, on the back end of things, I see the benefits of her unmedicated birth. After two days in the hospital, mom and baby were on their way home. Since I had other complications, I spent 8 days and 5 days in the hospital for James and Logan. 

On another note, the boys get to meet the new baby today. James is now convinced that Logan is also a big brother. He's so excited to see the baby and so am I!