They're going to make it

After a pretty quick trip to the doctor on Thursday, both boys were given a fairly clean bill of health.  They had a cold virus and didn't need antibiotics.  I got the okay to give Logan a small dose of Claritin to dry up some of his snot (even though he doesn't have allergies... yet.) and told to give James Delsym for his cough.  Kids under 4 aren't really allowed much cold or cough medicine, but the combination of the Delsym and James' usual Claritin has helped him sleep better.
The kids' usual pediatrician was at a conference, so we had to see his associate.  We have seen her before and I really like her.  She actually was the pediatrician for both of Rhonda's girls, so I know she is highly regarded.  However, when I took James to the bathroom after waiting for her for 15 or so minutes, I saw her sitting in her office.  We used the potty (James is at the phase where he wants to see any and all public bathrooms) and then sat for at least 10 more minutes.
Perhaps she was doing something important in her office or following up with another patient, but when I'm sitting in an exam room with two impatient children, one of whom is only wearing a diaper, I want immediate service.  When she came in, I was annoyed, but then she chatted with James for a minute and I got over it.  I have to learn to be more patient, but again, two snotty children in an exam room with one exasperated mother may not be the moment that I learn more patience.
I did appreciate that she directed all of her questions to James, first about how his summer was going, and second about how he was feeling and then looked to me for confirmation.  James was right on with all of his answer, for the most part.  Well, except for the part about going to France on vacation.

Two sick boys

Both boys are sick with colds, so I am home today.  They've both been coughing and stuffy and this morning, they were especially miserable.  Logan was fussy, trying to eat with a stuffy nose, and just grumpy overall.  James was tired, stuffy, and looked at me rather pathetically and asked to stay home.  So here we are.  Logan was so fussy that I would have felt terrible taking him to Rhonda's anyway.  I've also been worried because Logan's eyes are a bit red and I am hoping its not pink eye.  Either way, its been a few days of illness and neither really getting better, so we'll go see the pediatrician today.
After Logan finally gave in and fell asleep about 2 hours ago, James woke up and has been quietly playing and watching cartoons.  James also asked to use the potty (maybe we're finally getting there?!?!?) and took a shower.  I'll try to call the doctor in a few minutes and see when we can come in.  If we can go in the morning and the boys are cleared, I will hopefully go into work this afternoon.  And if not, we'll just stay home.
James says the most hilarious things sometimes.  He just knocked over an empty water glass (one of the big plastic tumblers you bring home from a baseball game) and he looked at me and said, "Daddy would be angry about that.  He would yell and I would cry."  This was pretty funny, because Adam is the least likely person in the world to yell at James and make him cry.  But I told him it was okay, we all have accidents and then we hug and make up.  I didn't want him to think he'd really get yelled at for knocking something over.  Also, if one of us was going to yell, it would definitely be me.
So here we are at home, Logan should wake up soon and want to eat.

Okay, I'm here still

Hi, I'm Chelsea and I've gotten over myself.  Really I've just managed to find my motivation again.  For work, going to the gym, and now for writing here.  The last few weeks have been full of some stress for me and the family, but it seems some of it has eased and some of it has resurfaced.  Ebb and flow, I suppose.  But the way we deal with challenges ultimately makes us the people that we are.  And while I can pout and wallow and sleep instead of working out, I really don't want to choose that life.  So here we are!
As I mentioned before, James and Logan had their 3 year and 6 month check ups.  James was 33 lbs and 38 3/4 inches tall.  Logan was almost 18 lbs (2 ounces shy) and 26.5 inches!  They are some big boys, James was in the 80th percentile for height and 60th for weight, since he's constantly moving.  And Logan was in the 75th percentile for both height and weight.  I love their doctor and tolerate his nurse.  Logan also received another round of shots, which had no effect on his whatsoever.  When James used to get shots, he'd be grumpy and sleep a ton and fuss.  Logan has an "ehhh, whatever" kind of attitude.  I'm lucky to have two pretty laid back children.
Part of the stress and worry that I was facing was due to Logan's genetic testing.  I carry a faulty gene that can lead to Becker muscular dystrophy in boys.  My brother and cousin are affected by it.  While its a fairly mild form of MD, I was still worried and felt that because James is not affected that Logan would obviously have it. But he doesn't.  His testing came back totally normal, there is no deletion on his DMD gene.  When Adam and I listened to the voice mail and heard the good news, we both looked at each other and vowed no more children.  Rolling the dice twice was enough and I cannot imagine the stress I would feel, worrying about passing my bad gene onto a third child.
Daycare was closed last week, Rhonda was on vacation and the boys were home for 9 long days.  The days actually weren't that long and Adam took care of them most of the time.  We were lucky that Jackie was able to stay with them on Tuesday and Thursday was a holiday for everyone.  I remember last summer thinking that I couldn't wait for Rhonda to be open again, but this year it wasn't as bad.  We stuck to our schedule and everyone came out alive.
Three is an interesting age.  James is smart enough to know what he wants and remembers enough to call you out if you don't follow through on something.  He knows how to use the potty and clean up afterwards, but won't tell you he needs to go.  He throws a tantrum like a champ and cuddles like a sweetheart just moments later.  His sense of humor is ridiculous and he feels some jealousy over the baby at times.  For instance, last night I was feeding Logan and James walked over and put his head on my leg.  Logan finished up his bottle and James asked to sit with me.  I asked him if it was okay if Logan sat with us too.  James said, "No, put Logan on the floor."  So I set Logan down with some toys and James climbed up and snuggled me tightly.  Then he looked up and said "I lub you."  I told him I loved him too and he smiled and we sat together for a few minutes.  He's pretty cute.

Motivation

I have not been motivated to do much blog writing lately.  Actually, other than things that are 100% necessary, I haven't been motivated at all lately.  Chalk it up to another family bout with illness, or a lot going on at work, or life in general, I have just not been feeling it lately.
I was away from home on Logan's 6 month half birthday, so I forgot completely to update his milestones.  He is meeting all of them and had a great check up with the pediatrician today.  James also had his 3 year check up this morning and is a thriving, healthy little boy.
One of these days, I will hop back on the blog writing train, but for now I'm going to work on my motivation in other areas (like maybe getting to the gym...)

Rolling over

This weekend Logan seems to have mastered rolling from his back to his tummy.  He gets over there very easily, then almost immediately starts to fuss.  Its pretty entertaining, because I've seen him roll from his tummy to his back, but he just would rather someone come save him.  He's also been rolling over and sleeping on his tummy, which doesn't surprise me too much.
Logan's 4 month check up went well, he got 3 shots and the Rotavirus stuff they squirt in their mouths.  He weight 15 lbs, 15 ounces and was 24 3/4 inches long.  He's not as big as James was at that age, but is still in the 75th percentiles, roughly.  James had a huge growth spurt between 2 and 4 months, but Logan hasn't just yet.  Either way, Logan is healthy and meeting all of his milestones!

The virus from hell

Its been quite the week for our family.  We've been sick.  Really, really sick.  I am still really, really sick.
James started to feel bad on the Monday after Easter.  I took him to the doctor that day only to discover that he had a virus.  Now that's all well and good, but I'm the kind of mom that likes to throw antibiotics at everything.  Kill the germs!  But with a virus you have no choice but to wait it out.  James did okay the rest of Monday, but still had a fever on Tuesday morning.
After much debate, and maybe some loud verbalization on my part (I swear, I don't really scream that much, but it just seems like it on this here blog...) I took Logan to daycare and stayed home with James.  Tuesday was just a bad day for either Adam or I to stay home.  Adam had training for his Leadership Development Program at work and I had a job interview/tons of work at my real job.  But kids always get sick on days when we need them to be well, Murphy's law?
After a day of rest on Tuesday, James was feeling better.  My interview was rescheduled for Wednesday morning, so it wasn't a total wash.  On a side note, I am definitely not taking the job if its offered.  I would have to commute (I am so spoiled working less than 5 minutes from home), pay for parking, and wouldn't be able to telework.  Its a slight raise, but when I did the math, parking and extra gas would even things out.  But its always good to practice interview skills.
James was very whiny the rest of the week, Rhonda even called me to ask if it was alright to give him Motrin on Wednesday morning.
Then Adam started to cough.  And Logan started to cough little, pathetic baby coughs.  And of course, I started to cough.  Big, hacking coughs that rattle your whole body.  Add in congestion, runny nose, and a fever for me and you have one sick momma.
Saturday night, Logan woke up to eat (thank you 4 month growth spurt, this kid has been eating nonstop for the last 4 days) and I could tell something was off.  But my boy wanted to eat, so he ate.  Then Logan refused to go back to sleep.  He was not having it.  So downstairs we went, where I took my temperature.  It was almost 104.  Well no wonder I was so hot and no wonder the baby didn't want me to hold him.  I was making him hot.  So after two hours of unsuccessfully trying to put him to bed, I called for reinforcements.  When I woke Adam for help, I think I said, "He's been up for two hours and I have a 104 degree fever, please help".  So I told Adam he'd eaten 6 ounces, had a diaper change, and was not happy.  Logan then screamed for awhile and finally went to bed.
Adam let me sleep in until almost 9 AM on Sunday, fairly unheard of around our house.  And I tried to rest as much as possible.  That's pretty much a joke with two youngsters, but I tried.  I woke up this morning and still have a fever, but I am at work.  I am still coughing a lot and pretty much feel like crap, but am hoping to feel better soon.  This truly has been the virus from hell!

Oh, the gym

I've been going to the gym a lot recently.  (Yea, I know I said I wasn't going to write about weight loss, but this is more about the gym itself.)
There are some really funny characters at the gym.  I suppose I should include myself in there too, I'm by no means an athlete.  I like to think I was in a previous life, but in this one, I am just trying to pass and not look too stupid.
Here are some of my favorites at the gym:
1.  The guys who work out in jeans.  How is this at all comfortable?  I despise sweating in jeans, so why would you wear them somewhere that you're going to be sweating a lot?  Usually guys are just lifting weights in said jeans, but there's even a sign regarding the dress code by the front desk.  No jeans is clearly listed.
2.  The guys who make up exercises.  These guys usually have free weights.  Now again, I am no athlete.  But I did work out with a trainer before our wedding and she did a great job of teaching me about working out, correct stance/movement, and not hurting myself in the process.  I see guys (the free weights are directly in front of the treadmills and elliptical machines) just tossing weights in random motions, not really working out a particular muscle group, very random.  Maybe they're trying to sneak up on their muscles?
3.  I could be lumped into this category, but who knows.  One of my other favorite groups of people are the new people in brand new work out clothes.  The guys in work out tights (no really, men's tights) matching shorts, tank, and head band, sparkling gloves.  These are the guys that spend more time chatting and holding weights than actually lifting them.  Now I have some new work out clothes, but I do try to make the most of my time and I certainly don't chat, so maybe I only half count.
4.  This one is a doozie.  The ill-dressed ladies.  I saw a woman at the gym yesterday with rather large....  endowments.  She was wearing a push up bra and a low cut tank top.  Now, I am not as well...  endowed.  But if I'm moving on the treadmill or elliptical, most of my body is also moving.  I am not sure how she was keeping the "girls" in check, but she didn't seem to mind that she was falling out of her shirt.  Its the gym, who are you really trying to impress?  Even if I go straight from work to the gym, I always pack a sports bra to change into.
Did this turn into a rant?  Oops!  I suppose that observations from me end up being rants, but there you have it, the gym as I see it!

Here we go again

So here I am - 30 years old, a mother of 2, and committed to being done with having kids.
To be honest, I'm a little sad about not having more kids.  I would love to have a little girl to buy lots of pink crap for.  But three kids is more than my body and our family budget can handle (not to mention more than my sanity can handle!).  Even before my blood pressure spiked and lead to a Pregnancy Induced Hypertension diagnosis, my team of doctors let it be known that I should probably be done with two.  And I agree.  But I digress.
For the last three and a half years I've been trying to conceive, pregnant, a new mom, a working mom, trying to conceive again, and pregnant (again).  I've let that be an excuse to not diet, with some exception when I lost around 10 - 15 ish pounds in the fall of 2011.  Losing that weight was kind of silly really, I gained back 12 pounds during the 4 months we were trying to conceive Logan (oops).
But I have no more excuses at this point.  Its time to lose the weight once and for all.  Beyond weight, its time to be healthier and take care of myself.  So really its more than weight loss, its trying to live a better, healthier lifestyle.
Does it feel like I've written this entry before?  I sound like a broken record, like an addict that wants another drink, but in some ways, food is my addiction.  That might be over stating it some, but I clearly have some food issues.  I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored.  I eat to reward myself.  For example:  There's a Chic-Fil-A next to the Sam's Club that we frequent.  On several occasions, I have gotten breakfast after an early morning diaper run and thought to myself "You deserve a treat".  Really, Chelsea?  You get to eat a thousand calorie breakfast because you popped in Sam's for 20 minutes?
I might be digressing again.
So I've joined a gym, am tracking my calories and weight on My Fitness Pal, and have committed to not eating fast food.  I'm not going to berate myself if I go over my calories and I'm not going to expect some huge, immediate weight loss.  I have 65 pounds to go until I hit my goal, which could take the better part of this year.
Rather than blog about it weekly and post my weigh ins, I'm just going to live my life.  But if you're interested in the specifics, I have posted a weight loss tracker that is linked to my My Fitness Pal account.  I'm using 252 pounds as my starting weight, that's how much I was in the doctor's office at my 6 week post partum/post op appointment and in the last two weeks I've lost 7 pounds.
Here we go again!

Our doctor is a trip

Our pediatrician, Dr. Chander, has been really wonderful.  I got the recommendation for him from my old boss (who has actually since been removed by the state, go figure).  This boss was such a tyrant that any doctor she trusted to care for her son for 12 years, I knew must be good.
James has been seeing Dr. Chander since he was born and now Logan will go too.  Since he was on vacation when Logan was one week old, we saw one of his colleagues, making his one month check up the first to see Dr. Chander.  We've got a great relationship with the doctor and so I had no fear asking him about something a bit...  delicate.
We were worried about the way Logan's circumcision healed.  It seemed like there was a bit too much skin left.  Sometimes it doesn't seem like a circumcision was done at all, after all the swelling went down.  Not having much to compare it to, we were really starting to worry that Logan might need to have it revisited, so we asked the doctor.
He gave it one looked, poked around a bit and said to me "Don't worry, he'll grow into it."
I wanted to die laughing right then and there.  At least there's nothing to worry about.

Oh baby!

I haven't been updating much this week, as I've been home, resting.
On Monday, the doctor decided that my blood pressure was high enough that I shouldn't be working, I should be home.  I quickly agreed!  I completed a 24 hour urine collection, we'll see if there is enough protein in the sample to warrant moving up my scheduled C-Section by two weeks.  I'm pretty sure there will be, as my blood pressures have been high.  Well, I say that, but they've been high everyday at home and not as high at the doctor's office.
I will take any extra days that the baby wants to stay in!  We hit 36 weeks tomorrow and I am very excited that the little guy is taking his time getting here.
Aside from the blood pressure issues, everything has been fine.  My Biophysical Profile Ultrasound on Monday was great.  The change in his diaphragm/breathing in a week was amazing and his movement was strong and easy to locate.  The technicians like it when babies cooperate and actually do their 30 seconds of practice breathing up front.
Today I go in for a Non Stress Test and hopefully that is all.  I am feeling pretty good this morning,  so let's hope that's a good sign!  I'll also get the results of the 24 urine!  Ew.  It was gross...

Ouch!

This morning was a pretty typical morning for James and I.  He slept a bit later than he has been (6:30 AM seemed really late!) and we got dressed and ready for the day.  I realized that I needed to change my insulin pump set, so I got all my supplies ready.  James noticed what I was doing and stood by to "help" which really means he wanted to watch.  So I got everything all ready to go and then put the set in (the set portion of the tubing is the part that goes in my stomach, the catheter, really).  When I put it in, James said, "Ouch!  That hurt!"  He's so funny.  I've never told him it hurts, he just came to his own conclusion.  A few minutes later, I stabbed my finger to check my blood sugar, and James again yelled "Ouch!  That hurt too!"  He's so funny.  Sometimes he pretends to put his finger on the test strip too.  I'm amazed at how well he handles everything, I always explain what I'm doing and that it doesn't hurt Mom.  Now he's more curious than anything and wants to watch.  He can be helpful too, if I ask him to go get my medicine, he'll fetch my glucometer for me.  This morning, when I got my number - 115, I told him the machine said that Mom did a good job.  He laughed at me and we continued on our day!

Stress

Yesterday was a stressful day for me.  I went to my OB check up and I wasn't really expecting anything out of the ordinary...  And then I stepped on the scale.  I've managed to gain 22 lbs. in 22 weeks.  To say this is an oops is kind of an understatement.  Upon seeing this, my OB (who is rather nice usually, but is very tough when she needs to be) laid into me a bit.  I know that she needed to tell the risks associated (blood clots, pulmonary embolism, inability to heal, problems with spinal/epidural anesthesia) with too much weight gain, especially since I am already at a high BMI, but sometimes I want to kick medical professionals in the head.  I was pretty upset, but I managed not to cry at the doctor's office (I made up for that later!).  Anyway, long story short, I should not gain more weight this pregnancy.  In fact, if I was a lose a few pounds, no one would be upset.  So that's where I am right now.  I'm tracking my calories and will be working to not go over 1700 a day.  I will not eat fast food and we will be planning our meals to include less processed foods and more vegetables.  I am going to make an effort to walk more.  Realistically, these are things I should be doing regardless, but now I have even more reason.
The whole issue is frustrating to me on a number of levels.  I feel like I've been working my entire adult life  to lose weight, maintain weight, be skinny, etc. and while I know I shouldn't have gained quite so much weight to start with (its just kind of snuck up on me, I suppose), pregnancy is the one time where that whole focus on weight lose can be relaxed.  But now its not.  In the long run, watching my food intake is not a bad thing and I know that, but really just feel like a fat kid right about now.
I think my other frustration is that I know for these 9 months I am solely responsible for the health of my baby.  Part of me feels like I did a crappy job with that when I was pregnant with James because he showed up so early and because of his heart defect.  Both of those issues may not even be directly related to me, but I can't help but feel like it was my fault.  Usually, I don't feel that way, but sometimes those doubts creep into my mind.  I want to do everything that I possible can for this baby and I did everything that I could for James, but I'm not perfect.  I won't ever be perfect, but that is still the goal.  In general, I have felt a ton more stressed with this pregnancy than I did with James.  I think that's because I've seen what happens when you have medical issues that lead to the NICU and also because I now know what its like to be a mom.  I know how much I love my little boy and I couldn't have known that as a first time mom.
Anyhow, other than the fact that I'm a fatty, our little baby is doing fine.  His heart rate was in the 140's after he stopped dancing around my belly and my blood sugars have been good.  We go back on the 25th for a fetal echo cardiogram and growth ultra sound and from here on out I will be going to the doctor at least every 2 weeks.  This pregnancy is speeding along and I can't wait to meet our son!

I have a cold

Or maybe its allergies.  I am stuffy and have a runny nose and want to nap more than usual.  I am grumpy and sleepy and want to go home.  Having a cold while pregnant is not fun and I'm going to complain about it.
Probably a lot.
Okay, I think I might have the complaining out of my system.  James and I have been fighting a little bit of a cold.  Although Adam is convinced its allergies.  Actually, James' might really be allergies, because we started his daily Claritin back up a few days ago and he seems to be doing better.  Claritin isn't helping me at all.
I'm sure I will survive either way, but since I'm trying to save up my sick leave, I am at work today.

The last week

James has been sick for about a week now.  Between a high fever (104* at some points) and sore throat, to be closely followed by a very runny nose and cough, my little guy was kind of a mess for awhile.  He seems to be doing better this morning, but his nose and cough are still bothering him a bit.  While I try not to take daycare for granted, being home with a sick toddler is not for the faint at heart.  He is stubborn, head strong, and moody (not unlike his mother, ha!).  Add in some sickness and he's even grumpier, not in the mood to eat, and clingy to boot.
Okay, now I'm done complaining.  I really do feel bad for the little guy, I would take all his ills if I could, but it doesn't work that way.  Hopefully he will continue to feel better, at least for his parents' sake.
Tomorrow is our annual trip to pediatric cardiology, so that should be interesting.  This year I'm not nearly so amped up about it as much as I'm dreading having to hold James still for his echo.  The child barely holds still for a diaper change.  But they usually play a movie, so hopefully his love of "Melmo" will help some.  Wish us luck!

Appointment update

Well, I'm a little late, but here is the update from my appointment with the OB on Monday (14 weeks, 3 days).  I have gained 3 more pounds, so I'm up about 6 or 7 total, which isn't really bad at the moment.  My BMI is already "high" according to them, so I'm hoping there isn't confusion with the insurance, like with James.  Basically, high BMI is my tertiary diagnosis (after diabetes and pregnancy), so with James my insurance denied a bunch of claims because they don't pay for weight loss programs.  I am not trying to lose weight, obviously.  So they had to recode and rebill a bunch of stuff, which was eventually paid.  Hopefully that isn't an issue this time.  Everything else looks fine, blood pressure, etc.  My blood sugars are starting to creep up, as is expected with the second trimester, so we're monitoring my sugars carefully and increasing my insulin doses every few days.  The doctor attempted to find the baby's heart rate with a doplar, but could only get it for a second or two.  So off to the ultrasound room we went.  I'm glad that going to the Perinatal Center means that there is all this equipment available.  Then again, if you sneeze funny during a high risk pregnancy, they do an ultrasound.  The baby's heart rate was a rapid 173, which is a good thing.  James' was always down between 140 and 150, which isn't unusual, just a difference between the two.  Adam, of course, asked the doctor if she could see any little boy or girl parts.  She took a look, but the baby wasn't being super cooperative, tummy down and back rounded, kind of like a little kitten!  Anyway, the doctor said "maybe a boy" but didn't want to give the odds anymore than 50/50.  If the baby was tummy up, waving its little legs, we would have had a better shot.  But at least we asked and got to see the little peanut for a few extra minutes while the doctor checked things out.
I am trying not to totally freak out at the thought of two little boys.  When I talked to Adam about it later in the day, I was in the throws of some hormonal craziness, I was pretty upset, but I really feel like we dodged a bullet with James not having Becker Muscular Dystropy.  The thought of going through the testing, etc. with another little boy makes my heart ache, but I have to get over it.  What's done is done and I can't change the little baby inside me, nor would I want to.  Part of me really thought I could will this child into being a girl, but we will see, it is still a possibility!
The only other thing of note from this appointment was that I will be going to see a neurologist.  I've been having migraine type headaches for the last couple of weeks and the doctor would like to get them under control before I get farther along.  Obviously, my comfort is a big part of that, but headaches are also the big indicator of pre-eclampsia.  Since I had severe pre-e with James, they would go into emergency mode pretty quickly if I was beyond 24 or so weeks and having a headache.  If we get things under control with the migraines now, we'll have a better indicator for high blood pressure later.  So I go to see a neurologist on August 6 and we'll get things sorted out.
On August 13, we will go have our monthly follow up with the OB and have our anatomy ultrasound done.  Since James is getting his eyes dilated that morning, just a few minutes away from the hospital, he will be joining us for the appointment, so hopefully he is in a cooperative mood!

Staying strong

On our way home from hiking Sunday, I got a message from my mom on my cell phone.  My uncle had called her to let her know my grandmother (my mom's mom) had a stroke.  I believe that my aunt was with her at the time and they went straight to the local emergency room.  The local hospital couldn't do a CT scan on Sunday, so they moved her to a larger hospital about an hour from home when they were able.  My grandma has been in poor health lately, she's fallen more and more and broke her arm 2 weeks ago.  I don't know if the stroke could be at all related to her arm, but her health seems to be on the decline more and more.  After my mom got a little more information, she called me to let me know she'd be flying out Monday morning and that she would update me as soon as she could.  After I couldn't get a hold of my brother, I called my dad.
Although my parents have been divorced for some time, I knew that he would want to know and I knew that he would make me feel better.  My dad is good in an emergency, he stays calm, rational, and supportive.  Its funny for me, my parents are two very separate people.  They live on opposite coasts and obviously have very different lives, but Siskiyou County, California remains in their shared past.  My dad's brother actually works at the local hospital where they first took my grandmother.  So I talked to my dad for a bit and we continued our drive home.  Since then we've been sitting and waiting.
I haven't gotten an update yet this morning, although I know my mom made it to Medford, Oregon last night.  I'm sure she was exhausted from 12 hours of traveling, but her plan was to go straight to the hospital.  And I don't really know what to do with myself.
I want to be strong and hold it together, but inside I'm so scared and worried.  I'm obviously worried about my Grandma, who has been such a strong, fighter of a woman my entire life.  She's a breast cancer survivor and has lived most of her life with only one lung.  She held it together after her husband died 15 years ago and managed to travel the world while she was able.  There is also worry for my mom and aunt.  I know they are both so upset and I wish there was more I could do.  But in the end, nothing I do can change the situation, which is a hard realization.  Sometimes, all you can do is try to stay strong.

My brother and I with our Grandma, August 2009

Wednesday Weigh In

I haven't done an update in awhile on my weight loss efforts.  Its been a slow road lately, I haven't been super dedicated, but I haven't gained anything back.  My weight loss ticker is still up to date (finally, I haven't updated it in awhile and then I came back around to the same weight that it says.)  So I am trying to eat smaller portions and not over indulge in junk food.  I have cancelled my Weight Watchers membership because I just wasn't using it.  So I am going to go it alone for awhile and see where I am.  On March 11th, I am doing the Shamrock 5k with my girlfriend Candi, and I have been training for it.  I am due to run 2.5 miles at some point today and have been working to improve my time.  I can't believe I signed up for another 5k, but I've been progressing and its nice to go out and run/jog/walk and clear my head.  Long term I know that running is not the sport for me.  My knees are killing me and now my hips have started to hurt also.  This doesn't really surprise me, I have had problems with my knees since high school and pounding them into the concrete is certainly not helping.  The hip pain is new, but I know it has to do with the same issues (tight tendons, long bones, one slightly longer leg/body alignment, and weight) that cause my knee problems.  Some of those I can correct, but others are just the way my silly body is formed.  But we will see how I am feeling after the 11th and go from there.
My saving grace with my running regimen has been my new iPod Nano.  I super love the Nike Plus Fitness Program and really have lucked out with this iPod.  The story behind it - I was reading on "the facebook" and noticed a friend of mine had posted something about Apple recalling 1st generation iPod Nanos due to a battery problem.  Well, Adam bought me one about 5 years ago and I used it for a few months and then started using his larger (and out of use) iPod (Adam, unlike the rest of the known world, has issues with Apple and iTunes and prefers to use Windows based media applications....)  So I got out my old iPod, mailed it into Apple, and they replaced it with a brand new 6th generation iPod.  I still have my Classic iPod (so old that it still has a clicker wheel) to listen to in the car and my new Nano to use when I run.  I love it, I just start the fitness section, tell it if I want to walk or run, select how many miles I want (or a time or amount of calories) and hit the start button.  It lets me pick a shuffle of songs or a specific mix of music and off I go!  When I'm done, it tells me how far I went, my time, and the mile splits.  Amazing.

Dear extremely clingy toddler,

Mommy loves you. I promise. But I really hope you aren't sick still. You've been on antibiotics 20 of the last 35 days and I really want you to be well. Maybe it is just your teeth, you grumpy boy.

Xoxo,
Your momma

If you kiss your baby...

...you will get sick.  I should know this by now, but I can't help but smooch on the little guy.  So I've got a sore throat and some congestion going on.  Hopefully it will pass soon!
James appeared to be feeling better over the weekend, but woke up with a fever yesterday.  He went to daycare for most of the day, but his pediatrician wanted him to come in and have his ears checked out again, just in case.  Rhonda said he was fine all day, took a good nap, but wasn't really that hungry.  You know James doesn't feel good if he's not eating, normally he can snack all day long.  We saw Dr. Chander at 3 and learned that James' ears are clearing up and that his fever is probably due to having a virus on top of everything.  Luckily, his lungs, throat,and sinuses were all clear.  So we are still keeping an eye on him, making sure he gets plenty of fluids and continuing his antibiotics.
Of course after his trip to the doctor James was up for awhile last night.  It appears that his remaining 3 cuspids are on their way in and he is not happy about it.  On top of his runny nose and ears, the mouth pain was too much for the boy and he woke up screaming.  I feel so bad when he's teething and had hoped we would be done with this phase of life, but we popped some teething tablets in, gave him some Benadryl for his stuffy nose and then dad stepped in for some snuggles.  He went back down after that and we all got some much needed rest.
This morning James seemed to be on the mend.  He didn't have a fever and actually ate some cheerios and a string cheese for first breakfast.  Yes, my son is a hobbit who eats second breakfast as soon as he gets to Rhonda's.  I am here at work for a bit and then off to the dentist, lucky me!

Another one (or 2)?

James is sick again.  Rhonda called me on Tuesday afternoon and let me know that he woke up from his nap with pink eye.  I'm not sure when he managed to contract the pink eye, but he woke up with two clear eyes on Tuesday morning and by the afternoon had a raging case of pink eye in both eyes.  We went to the pediatrician and learned that he also has a double ear infection.  Because clearly, the pink eye was not enough.  As with his previous ear infection, James gave no indication that his ears were hurting.  We are thinking that perhaps his previous infection didn't clear up and this ear infection is just a flair up.  I didn't even think to make a follow up appointment after we went to Patient First on the 1st, so I guess I have learned my lesson!
James is on eye drops 3 times a day for 5 to 7 days and the antibiotic, augmentin, twice a day for 10 days.  The augmentin is pretty strong stuff and causes all kinds of tummy problems.  So yesterday, while I was busily chasing my child around, I also made a stop at the CVS and got some children's probiotic.  Hopefully this helps his stomach from being so upset and he will get his appetite back.
James is back to daycare today, after being home with mom yesterday.  He was a wild man, running around, body slamming the dog, and experimenting with turning the living room lamp on and off (and on and off again.  And again.)  And as bad as it sounds, I was relieved to drop him off this morning.
We go back to recheck his ears in 2 weeks and I'm hoping this time they stay clear!