Awake

I've now been awake for over two hours. James had a nightmare and came in at 12:30 am and I've been up ever since. I spent the first thirty minutes in bed, but then migrated to the living room. 

I'm alternating between work stress, generalized anxiety, pregnancy insomnia, heartburn and the nagging cough of last week's virus. And so, I usher in my 33rd year. 

I also kind of want a snack. But I can't eat until I pee. Again. And the bathroom is upstairs and I'd hate to wake Adam. Again. Also eating may lead to more heartburn. But having something in my stomach may help the acid stay down. It's really a toss up. 

My hands are numb from my bloated wrists and tapping this into my phone has made me feel a bit calmer for the moment, although slightly more hungry.  Between an impending blizzard and sorting out the previously mentioned work stress, tomorrow is going to be a long day. I suppose that's part of the hilarious anxiety keeping me awake. I am anxious because I know how tired I will be. Oh Chelsea, 33 weeks pregnant and 33 years old. 

Note to self: accomplish what you can at the office. Go to library to pick up held books. Go to chiropractor to sort out back. Take the liberal leave already on the table and take a damn nap. 

Public Domain?

This point of pregnancy is one that I look forward to (well, the almost being done part) and the one that I honestly dread the most.  At this point, I am so big, there is no denying that there is a "baby on board".  People really seem to think at this point that you are public domain and they can say whatever comes to mind.

Examples:
"Are you sure its not twins?"
"Wow, you just get bigger everyday."
"I bet you're peeing a lot."
"Three boys?  So you'll try for a girl?  You really want a girl, right?"
"Didn't you just lose a bunch of weight?"

Look everyone, you aren't original.  There is nothing entertaining about this.  I am not even the kind to really care when someone rubs my tummy, because really, that tummy is out there.  This tummy is serious.  But I don't think you're funny.  And I do give sarcastic answers.

Things like,
"Thank you for pointing out how big I am, I needed the reminder today."
"I'm hoping one of them will be gay, that's close enough to a girl."

I know, I could be nicer, people are stupid and obnoxious and don't quite realize when they've said something that is probably offensive, if not insensitive.

Baby continues to grow well and my insulin need continues to go up.  At this point with James and Logan, I was still doing fairly well with my blood pressure, but the next few weeks will give more hints as to how quickly this pregnancy will be ending.  Either way, I'll be done by March 3rd!

It's almost time

"Adam....  Adam, I just realized I haven't written a single thing about being pregnant this time..."
"Well, I guess you better get on that."
"I took way more pictures."
Close enough, right?
I didn't set out to write about being pregnant for the third time.  I'd say that's a good thing, because I definitely accomplished that goal.  Until now.
2015 came and went.  James turned 5, started school, played soccer, drove his parents a little batty, but mostly was a good kid.  Logan was Logan.  A little loud and a little demanding.  Life with Logan seems to be a stream of antibiotics and trips to the ENT.  He got glasses, turned 3 and had revision tubes placed in his ears and his adenoids removed.  He was also mostly a good kid.
James is so ready to be a big brother again.  He loves his "job" even though most of the time Logan is really running the show.  Logan is so not ready to be a big brother.  He tells me nearly daily now that he doesn't want a baby and that he, in fact, is the baby.  Oddly enough, he loves babies, so maybe his tune will change.
Being on my third high risk pregnancy is a bit stressful.  Things seem more "normal" this time and I am very used to checking my blood sugar and blood pressure.  But its stressful in other ways.  When I told James I had a doctor's appointment this morning, he asked if I'd be gone for 5 days.  I told him that its just a check up and that the doctor would just measure my belly and listen to the baby's heartbeat.  In the back of my mind, I was thinking "I hope..." I promised to try to give him as much notice as I possible could before I had to be in the hospital.  He was unhappy when mom was in the hospital with Logan, this time I know it will be worse.
Preparing for a third baby is pretty hilarious, I'm almost 31 weeks and we finally broke down and bought some baby things.  We still have no baby clothes, as we're waiting for a hand-me-down delivery.  We still don't have a solid feeding plan, we're playing it by ear to see if the little guy wants to nurse.  I have no meals prepped (okay, I never prepped meals before the other two either...) and no real plans for who is watching the kids while I'm in the hospital.  We'll figure it out eventually, there's probably only 6 more weeks of this madness.
Good things about pregnancy this time around:
1.  Adam and I understand that I'm crazy, hungry, hormonal and angry.  Not sure who I'm angry at, but most of the time, someone.
2.  I know that the time period of being exhausted is quite short.  Caring for an infant is actually super easy when compared to parenting a child, even if they scream a lot and you don't sleep for a year.
3.  Its almost over.  That's the best part.  I fooled myself into thinking doing this again would be easy.  Its not.  I will not have these foolish notions again.  I will tie my tubes and never again think of having babies.  Because four?  Well that is just nuts, right?  Right.